Why Accepting You Can't Control Your Kids Can Be Liberating

By Jose Lizama

Updated on Monday 1st of May 2023

A photo of a child holding a brush painting the walls

Parenting is undoubtedly one of the most challenging tasks in the world. From making sure your child is eating healthy to monitoring their screen time, it can feel like you've to be in control of everything. However, there are times when you feel like you just can't control your kids. And that's okay! The affirmation "I cannot control my kids" might seem counterintuitive at first, but it can be a liberating statement for any parent. In this blog post, we'll explore why this affirmation is important and how it can lead to a more positive parenting experience.

Accepting the Things You Cannot Control

As parents, we want to do everything in our power to keep our children safe and happy. However, it's important to acknowledge that there are some things that are beyond our control. For example, you cannot control your child's personality, their likes and dislikes, or how they respond to certain situations. Accepting that you cannot control everything about your child can help you let go of the stress and anxiety that comes with trying to do so.

When you accept that you cannot control your child, you're also freeing yourself from the pressure to be a perfect parent. No one is perfect, and it's unrealistic to expect yourself to have complete control over your child's behavior. Once you let go of this pressure, you can focus on what you can control: your own actions and reactions.

Modeling Positive Behavior

One of the best things you can do as a parent is to model positive behavior for your children. This means demonstrating how to handle difficult situations with grace and resilience, even when you don't have control over the outcome. When you accept that you cannot control your child, you're modeling a healthy attitude toward acceptance and flexibility.

By modeling positive behavior, you're also setting an example for your child to follow. When they see you handling a situation with grace and patience, they're more likely to adopt the same mindset. This can help them develop the skills they need to handle difficult situations on their own.

Building a Stronger Relationship

When you let go of the need to control your child, you're also opening the door to a stronger relationship. When your child senses that you trust them to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes, they're more likely to confide in you and seek your guidance when they need it.

Additionally, when you stop trying to control your child, you're also showing them that you respect their autonomy. This can help build a sense of mutual respect and trust in your relationship, which is essential for a healthy parent-child bond.

Conclusion

As a parent, it can be difficult to accept that there are things you cannot control. However, the affirmation "I cannot control my kids" can be a powerful tool for helping you let go of the stress and anxiety that comes with trying to do so. When you accept that you cannot control everything about your child, you're freeing yourself from the pressure to be a perfect parent, modeling positive behavior, and building a stronger relationship with your child. So the next time you feel like you're losing control, repeat this affirmation to yourself and focus on what you can control: your own actions and reactions.

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