What's your number one question about personal development?


Revamp Your Relationship: Say Goodbye To Always And Never Statements For Better Communication With Your Spouse

By Jose Lizama

Updated on Sunday 21st of May 2023

What's your number one question about self-improvement?


If you're in a committed relationship with your spouse, arguments and disagreements are inevitable. No matter how much you love and respect your partner, there are bound to be moments when you don't see eye-to-eye. While some disagreements are minor and easy to work through, others can be much more intense and overwhelming. When emotions run high, it's easy to start throwing around "always" and "never" statements. You might say something like, "You always ignore me!" or "You never listen to what I have to say!" These types of statements might feel effective in the moment, but they can actually be incredibly damaging to your relationship.

If you're looking to improve your communication with your spouse, one powerful step you can take is to eliminate "always" and "never" statements from your arguments. These types of statements are often unhelpful and unfair, causing your partner to become defensive and discouraged. Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in communication, trust, and respect. The good news? With a little bit of practice and intentionality, you can learn to replace these negative statements with more constructive language.

So why are "always" and "never" statements so harmful? First, they're often inaccurate. Unless your spouse truly never does something or always behaves a certain way, these statements aren't truthful. Second, they're usually unfair. Your partner may feel like you're making sweeping generalizations about their behavior, which can be hurtful and discouraging. Finally, they're not productive. "Always" and "never" statements don't give your partner any actionable feedback or suggestions for how to improve. Instead, they simply criticize and blame.

Instead of resorting to "always" and "never" statements, just imagine how much more effective your arguments could be if you chose your words carefully. By replacing these negative statements with more constructive language, you can work towards resolution and compromise rather than defensiveness and anger. For example, instead of saying, "You always ignore me!" you could try saying, "When you don't respond to my texts, I feel ignored and unimportant. Can we work together to find a solution?" This statement is much more specific, accurate, and contains actionable feedback for your partner to work with.

Eliminating "always" and "never" statements from your arguments takes practice and intentionality, but the benefits are clear. By committing to improving the way you express yourself during disagreements, you'll not only strengthen your relationship but also build more trust, respect, and deeper connection with your partner. Don't wait another day to make this positive and transformative change!

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